Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Back to the Hamster Wheel!

Can I just say...I really want to do that! Throw it ALL out of the window. I dread getting up tomorrow to get back on the hamster wheel AGAIN! This dread starts to well up in me around 4pm on my last day off (today). And that blackness called...STRESS begins to creep back, shadowing my lovely days off. I already can imagine the nightmare I will walk back into.

The chaos because no one was manning the front desk for the days that I was off. Everything will be in frantic mode. I will have a billion emails from my 3 different bosses. friends, this gal is WAY micro-managed. One boss will say one thing while the other will dismiss the first bosses wants. It is the continual around and around, nobody knows where she will land theme! It makes me want to stand in the middle of my floor and throw my head back and SCREAM...I QUIT!
( This is a image that I came across and thought it looked alot like me...the hair and eyebrows and! Oh fitting)
But of course, we all know that won't happen. With the way the job market is at this moment and time...I guess I should be saying "thank god I have a job!" Am I lucky?! Working in an environment that is dealing with people whose illness are sometimes just overwhelming. The needs of these patients and their families could push anyone to the drink! In a environment that has NO DOWN TIME! It is go-go-go from 745am till 815pm (12 hour shifts). I am the EVERYTHING & GO TO girl!

All I hear all day is constant phone ringing(over 600 calls a day), nurses and doctors constantly asking for help with some menial or life moving task, bosses that have (I swear) a list of hundred tasks that have to be done by 5pm. And the whole time I am to sit there and be the 'Captain' of my floor's ship (told to me by my manager...geesh! Ahoy Matey!)and have the habitual smile plastered on my face. And deal with families grieving or patients who are needing to know something about their illness or wanting to just chit chat, and hospital techs wanting to know who, what, where ALL THE TIME!!!!

Then there are moments in a day, where I can stop and look back at a moment where all of sudden it makes sense why I am there! Seeing a patients face light up when the Doctor walks in and tells them that the tumor they just cut out of them...was benign! Or the holding of a hand or soft hug given to a family member who just had to say good bye to their loved one.

Or remember the love I experienced when the tables were turned and I was in the hospital bed, wondering if I was going to die. And me being the person who received those soft hugs and holding of my hand when I was told I had cancer. Yes...those same nurses who I party with and work with, were there when my life seemed doomed. They were the same ones who stood by me when management seemed to have signed me off when I was so ill. They are the ones who called and sent messages of hope when all seemed so grim.

The loathing of my job really stems from the uncaring people who call themselves 'bosses'! Yes, those same people who need me so desperately now were so quick to write me off as a loss when they thought there was a chance...I would die! But, now I am always subjected to constant ramblings of "Robyn, your a valued employee here...blah-blah!" then they throw at me their demeaning list of tasks that seemed to be pushed from one boss to a lesser boss till it landed in the lowest man on the totem pole lap! You are right! I should quit and find another job...with a quickness. And yes my friends that is the master plan. Along with investing in some stock for ALEVE...the constant hitting of one's head on wall is taking a toll.

There are a couple snafu's that hold me back...I have FANTASTIC health insurance. And with my current position I need that like I need air to breath. And then there is the pay thing...yes! I must move from this job to another with the same or more 'coins' being deposited in my bank roll.

This dilemma that I am in with my current position is just temporary, but with some of my fellow blogger friends fielding some of the same problems with their current positions, I found my voice as well! And heck, it just feels wonderful to release all this out here in my blog! It really is such lift of a burden for now...until I walk through those hospital doors tomorrow! Welcome back to HELL!
With much love,


Walker said...

My friends are kinda big, can I use a baseball bat?

Walker said...

What happened the the other post?!
I got to wstop staying up this late I'm seeing things

Walker said...

This is what you do.
Wear the same clothes you wore on the last day you worked and walk into work backwards and just say you'll see them when you get back from your time off.

I am sure there was something about it only taking 4 muscles to smack someone in the head here before.
I need a beer.

Here take the bat, you probably need it more for work.

Have a nice day Slugger.

Skeeter said...

Hi Robyn! Yep, some days are this way!

Best wishes,

just bob said...

As someone told me: "That's the problem with vacations, they end." Not the deepest of observations, but true nonetheless.

Yes, there are many of us not in the ideal work situations. Your bosses are a pain in the ass, while it's my co-workers and employees that are leading to my mental demise. Perhaps we all need to get together and start our own business. Then we'd have the best bosses and co-workers ever!

Try to focus on the good people, do your best to cope with the frustrating people, and keep looking for a better place to work.

Anonymous said...

Hey Robyn,

Keep this in mind.
Their is nobody else their at your job that works as hard as you do. You ARE the goto girl, because you are the most relyable. You are the ancor for the whole facility. That's why stuff piles up while your gone. Nobody knows what to do with all the stuff you take care of. KNOW, that you ARE appreiciated.

Remember you have all of us out here in Cyber Land will boost you up when your down. Your a fantastic worker, and a great friend. Keep up that great work you do. Keep in mind that you ARE the best. Listen to that Tina Turner song "Simply The Best". Put it in your Ipod. Its all of us telling you this.

Take care, Hang in their, your one day closer to your weekend.

Lots of love


chin up!!! chest out!!! and throw some shit around the office!!! yeah, that should do it!

Suzanne said...

Nope Randy, she isn't one day closer to the weekend, she's one day closer to my FABULOUS BIRTHDAY and she knows it!!! Hip Hip Hurray for Friday Robyn baby!!! Hold on for less than 48 hours and before you know it you'll be telling the "bosses" to hold down the fort while you step out to swing from the disco ball, flirt with the bartender and take some "me time" at the Wild Onion. If that doesn't work, my younger sister and I played softball for years. She was the pitcher and I was the catcher...Walker, where's that damn bat? I may have to clean the house. (And yes, I did bat. Damn good I might add.)

Happy birthday to me
Happy birthday....(okay, we all know the lyrics by now!)

Just Bob. I had the same thought. What business do you see us all succeeding at madly? Something like a cafe?!!! Or something bigger and better. For instance, like Martin Luther, I have a dream, and have always imagine running my own business to sell my art rather than deal with a gallery. The other day I was thinking about how all of you would make the most amazing team of employees (not that I would be the boss because I believe in equality) and laughed. But here you are mentioning something along the same lines. We could create an amazing company, no matter what the product because we love, respect and understand one another and because we know our strengths and weaknesses. I think that's the foundation of a solid, successful business. How interesting. I hope you read this. If not, I'll drag your ass over here to do so.

Robyn, please don't throw any shit around the office as dear old IV suggested because you know you'll be cleaning it up. Oh, he's our little thinker, isn't he!!! Love ya IV!

This post is terrific and the comments are wonderfully supportive. You're a lucky lady. Now just march straight into that office backward.


P.S. Wrote more down below. I know honey, I'm sorry for not visiting , I'm so busy I don't know my ass from a hole in the ground. I'm not sure what that means, but when Dad would say that to Mom, it seemed to work. ;)

Anonymous said...

God! I hate that feeling when you are DREADING going back to work after time off...there is really no worse feeling I can think of right now than that.

I wish you luck...or hope you are surviving as it is Wednesday and you are probably already knee-deep in patient crap (not literally I hope)!

Pat said...

Hi Robyn

Thanks fro visiting my blog and leaving a comment.

I know going back after a vacation can be hard :-( I hope your day goes well and won't be as bad as you think!

justabeachkat said...

Bless your heart. My daughter painted me a plaque which I look at often which says "Put on your big girl panties and deal with it". LOL It's not easy, but I try.


CSI Seattle said...

Okay, let me begin by asking you to please pardon another one of my long drawn out absences. I stink as a friend, but I stink really good and everyone needs to be good at something.

I have actually noticed a few similar posts regarding the Rat Race issue at work. I even thought about writing about my own experiences as well as I seem to be suffering a similar feeling.

This is a subject in which entire books have been written about. I have my own theory about how to deal with this stuff. May I share?

In short, I think that the best way to cope with work is to develop an escape plan. You don't necessarily have to act on it, but knowing that practical options exist does tend to relieve some of that "trapped" feeling. For example, at the tender age of 41, I am already planning my early retirement. I don't know that I will retire early, but my escape plan is already in the works. It feels good to know tht I can leave early if I choose.

On the short term, I am also working on stuff to allow for an escape if I had to leave today for some reason. I generally know about where I would have to move, what kind of work I could do in the meantime, and how long I could last at a reduced salary.

This is really much more complex than this and would require lengthy discussion, but studying your options to get out of the hole makes the hole not seem so deep.

We will chat soon,


Anonymous said...

Sounds like a birthday party Id like to goto. I know how Robyn gets arround Birthdays. Fun times. Wish I could be their.
I cant wait for Robyn's 40th. She said she is going to have a party like no other. Count me in.... I will definately be their to help her welcome that one in.
Have a very Happy Birthdy Suzanne.

Anonymous said...

Hi Robyn!

I tagged you on my blog:

Hope to see you there!

~Kristen~ said...

Girl, I hear ya, and some days I really relate! When I become a bazillionaire all of my sistas are quitting work and we are going to live the life of leisure we were meant to live!!! LOLOLOL :-)

Big hugs!!!

Michael Lockridge said...

Oh, I know that depression that sets in just before going back to work. I know the need that drives you back to a situation you would prefer to run from. I know how bad bosses can be. If knowing others suffer similarly helps, then know that many of us are there.

I love the "next career" sign. That is where I am. Planning and designing the next career. I reach my target for retirement in a year and a half. It can't come soon enough.

You have a wonderful blog, and I am always happier when I have visited it. Thanks for sharing.


Robocop said...

If I decided to really vent about my job,it would fill up my blog.

Charmingdesigns said...

Hi Robyn, Wow, I'm sorry I was complaining a bit ago. You have it worse. We all need people like you in the world!! Take care friend!! Laurie

calamitykim said...

aww man! you need a hug
I love you sweetie! Maybe the next job will be better. I am so glad you are healthy now-sending hugs and love

Anonymous said...

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Shelia said...

chin up!!! chest out!!! and throw some shit around the office!!! yeah, that should do it!