Sunday, September 7, 2008
Yes, that is right my dear blogger friends! I have CANCER.
Specifically, I have Thyroid Cancer. I had it once before but it has decided to creep back in my life. When I first found out I was devastated and throwing a pity party for myself. I have since moved forward on this diagnose. I am in a good place now. I have told most of my family and friends. They have rallied on the sidelines as I step in to the ring to take on this fight.
I am a FIGHTER! And I beat this the first time, I will K.O.cancer this round too! I have been encouraged by some very special blogger friends to do a post about this fight I have to take on. At first, I just needed to get my bearings on what I was feeling and finish all the testing to see where and what I needed to do.
I have been through almost all the scans. And have had more blood drawn then you could imagine. As scary as all that was, I did it! I choked back the tears most days or the urge to haul butt out of those tests. I stood my ground and conquered my fears. It was freeing once I learned I could overcome my fears. Am I scared? Heck yes, I am. That wouldn't be truthful if I wasn't. But, these are the cards I have been dealt and I need to meet this challenge head on.
As some of you know, if you were to get cancer, the Experts say this is the cancer you would want to get. Why? Because it is the most treatable. But when it keeps reoccurring they become suspicious that it might be a tad more aggressive than your run of the mill Thyroid Cancer. This is the reason for all the scans, xrays, Ultra Sounds, Nuc Med Scans. They had to determine if my cancer had formed any tumors. They have concluded that in fact, I have NO TUMORS. So, that means my cancer is still on the cellular level. That is fantastic news! So, you ask where is my cancer? Since I no longer have a thyroid (removed with 1st cancer round) Well...it has parked it's ugly self on my left Para-thyroid and in my left (upper/lower lobe)lung. They call that metastasis. Indeed an ugly word and still very hard for me to speak. But there it is!
As this picture shows (an example)of what imagines the scans show the doctors where the 'hot' spots are. I have one more scan tomorrow. It is another Whole Body Nuc Med Scan to make sure that there are no more cells sitting somewhere else. Because it has been decided that I will be getting 'pin-point' radiation treatments. Which I am very nervous about but in the long run it will prove to be much better for me. The beams of radiation target the specific spots of cancer cells to kill them. I think I will have that for 12 weeks (that is still unclear to me as of yet).
But, the part I am excited about is that I can still be around my family and not isolated like I was last time. Last time I had to take radioactive iodine which in turn made me very radioactive. And I couldn't be around my sister (who was pregnant at the time) or my husband or dog for almost 6 weeks. It was miserable. No it didn't hurt but not having the human touch was more than I could stand!
Now that I know what type of fight I will be up against, I have suited up and have started to train for this fight. Just rereading what I have typed, I have discovered, has taken some burden off my chest. I truly find it freeing to record my feelings on this fight for me. I feel more powerful this time around and better armed. Well...not looking for pity or the aaahhhh...factor but wanted to let my friends know what fight I will be up against for the next couple of months. And hope to see you in my corner during this fight!
With much love,
Posted by Robyn Haas at 6:20 PM